Policing Authenticity in Our Own Communities

Cultural identities are more varied and nuanced than social media would have you think.

Tuesday morning, and I was already a sobbing mess in front of my manager. Full-on ugly-crying as she watched me with the widest, most empathetic eyes. We’d been doing a post-mortem on a project I was leading that centered on Vietnamese culture. Long story short, the project didn’t go well. Someone on the team had been questioning my right to tell the story I wanted to tell, in the way I wanted to tell it. I felt silenced. This person wasn’t Vietnamese, but they were part of the Asian American community, which made it hurt all the more. A rejection from the inside.

“I don’t know why I’m so emotional about this,” I told my manager, trying to wipe my tears. “I guess I never really felt completely Vietnamese—not authentically. I don’t speak the language fluently; I can’t read it or write it. This experience was, like, that shitty voice in my head had come to life.”

In trying to understand, my manager said slowly, “So you’re upset because that person made you second-guess your identity.” 

Yes, that was it exactly.