Thao, I love this conversation! I know in my rational brain that without a doubt multitasking doesn’t really work, but I just can’t seem to stop doing it! Beyond the omnipresent sociocapitalist pressures, I think there’s an additional aspect of fear of my own mind as well, where I worry that if I clear everything else away, the darker corners, the things I don’t necessarily feel like addressing, will come knocking. It feels safer, then, to stay “busy” or distracted.
I’d be curious to hear an update from you after more time with your mono-tasking, and whether it gets easier, and what other sorts of associated changes you notice.
Also, related, have you heard of the Greek concepts of Chronos vs Kairos? Essentially two different types of time - measured/counted vs lived/experienced, respectively. I wonder if by mono tasking successfully, we can actually experience the day as longer and more luxurious, as opposed to the frenetic, chaotic energy of pinballing back and forth between tasks.
Oh, I so relate to this idea of shutting out the darker corners. That really resonates. My therapist has been encouraging me to sit with my emotions more and interrogate them, which is a kind of enforced monotasking that I’m struggling with. Definitely see the link between busy-ness and avoidance of emotion in myself too! I had a friend in grad school who said, every time I asked how she was, that she was unbelievably busy. I remember how alienating that felt to me as a friend, because I felt she was chronically inaccessible to me, even as I empathized with her! Sometimes I wonder if I give the loved ones in my life the same unintentional message.
And yes! Did you read Glennon Doyle’s piece on chronos vs kairos? Love that discussion! And the word luxury when it comes to living — gah, what a dream. Also, pinballing between tasks — great metaphor!
and oh! I hadn’t read the Glennon Doyle piece, but I have now, and I appreciate how she gives permission to experience those Kairos moments but also to let them go, and to not feel pressure to remember the specifics of them. Love the point about “having done” something versus “doing” it - it’s okay for hard things to not be enjoyable! I’d love to get away from that sort of pleasure-based motivation, to trust that satisfaction doesn’t always mean ease.
Busy-ness is so funny! It’s a positive wrapped in a negative, almost a humble brag - makes me think of Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being. We wouldn’t want to have *no* demands on our time, not really. But something about it also implies importance, and specifically, that the demands on the busy one’s time are somehow more important than what we’re asking of them. When I think about the times I lean on busy-ness as my explanation (read: excuse), it’s almost always when I’m trying to avoid or get out of something!
Thao, your gift (well one of them haha) is articulating the things that rest on so many of our hearts and minds. Reading them is like taking the deepest breath. Thank you ♥️
Love this! LOL are we multitaskers because we’re 3’s and it’s ingrained deep within us??!! It’s like fighting against what’s natural! How can I get these 5 things done the most efficiently?!
Thao, I love this conversation! I know in my rational brain that without a doubt multitasking doesn’t really work, but I just can’t seem to stop doing it! Beyond the omnipresent sociocapitalist pressures, I think there’s an additional aspect of fear of my own mind as well, where I worry that if I clear everything else away, the darker corners, the things I don’t necessarily feel like addressing, will come knocking. It feels safer, then, to stay “busy” or distracted.
I’d be curious to hear an update from you after more time with your mono-tasking, and whether it gets easier, and what other sorts of associated changes you notice.
Also, related, have you heard of the Greek concepts of Chronos vs Kairos? Essentially two different types of time - measured/counted vs lived/experienced, respectively. I wonder if by mono tasking successfully, we can actually experience the day as longer and more luxurious, as opposed to the frenetic, chaotic energy of pinballing back and forth between tasks.
Oh, I so relate to this idea of shutting out the darker corners. That really resonates. My therapist has been encouraging me to sit with my emotions more and interrogate them, which is a kind of enforced monotasking that I’m struggling with. Definitely see the link between busy-ness and avoidance of emotion in myself too! I had a friend in grad school who said, every time I asked how she was, that she was unbelievably busy. I remember how alienating that felt to me as a friend, because I felt she was chronically inaccessible to me, even as I empathized with her! Sometimes I wonder if I give the loved ones in my life the same unintentional message.
And yes! Did you read Glennon Doyle’s piece on chronos vs kairos? Love that discussion! And the word luxury when it comes to living — gah, what a dream. Also, pinballing between tasks — great metaphor!
and oh! I hadn’t read the Glennon Doyle piece, but I have now, and I appreciate how she gives permission to experience those Kairos moments but also to let them go, and to not feel pressure to remember the specifics of them. Love the point about “having done” something versus “doing” it - it’s okay for hard things to not be enjoyable! I’d love to get away from that sort of pleasure-based motivation, to trust that satisfaction doesn’t always mean ease.
Busy-ness is so funny! It’s a positive wrapped in a negative, almost a humble brag - makes me think of Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being. We wouldn’t want to have *no* demands on our time, not really. But something about it also implies importance, and specifically, that the demands on the busy one’s time are somehow more important than what we’re asking of them. When I think about the times I lean on busy-ness as my explanation (read: excuse), it’s almost always when I’m trying to avoid or get out of something!
Thao, your gift (well one of them haha) is articulating the things that rest on so many of our hearts and minds. Reading them is like taking the deepest breath. Thank you ♥️
This is so kind, Liz! Thank you for reading ❤️❤️
Love this! LOL are we multitaskers because we’re 3’s and it’s ingrained deep within us??!! It’s like fighting against what’s natural! How can I get these 5 things done the most efficiently?!
Totally! I think there’s definitely a personality bent toward multitasking, like you say! And it DOES make some things a lot easier! ❤️