Wallflower Chats

Wallflower Chats

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Wallflower Chats
Wallflower Chats
The Ask Me Anything Edition
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The Ask Me Anything Edition

Answers about writing life, the Royal Family, and keeping things private as a parent.

Thao Thai
Feb 01, 2023
∙ Paid
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Wallflower Chats
Wallflower Chats
The Ask Me Anything Edition
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Photo: Ihor Malytskyi

Hiya! How’re things going over there? I’m sitting in my office (newly painted in a shade I pretentiously call “Misty English Coast”), listening to the sound of thunder on the horizon, while I eye the list of things I should be booking for spring break travel. It’s one of those dreary days where all I can summon the energy for is raiding the pantry while texting friends the question: “Is it Friday yet?”

This morning, as I walked E to school under my giant umbrella, I thought about how odd parasocial relationships can be. I have a couple of good friends I talk to every single day, about everything from our professional goals down to the multivitamins we’re consuming, but I’ve never met them in person. The internet has its definite pitfalls, but the amount of support I get from this Wallflower Chats community is just the best. I’m surprised every single day that there are people who welcome me into their inboxes and take the time to send notes. Sometimes writers can feel like they are murmuring into the void, so I’m extra grateful to be here, with you.

This is my ineloquent way of saying: Thank you. Thank you for helping me do the thing I’ve always wanted to, but never thought I could. For subscribing to this newsletter and sharing posts and offering the very precious gift of your time. You make a lonely writing life feel far less so.

And now, below, a few questions sent in via comments, email, and DMs, along with my chatty answers. If you have any other questions, feel free to chime in by replying to this email or, if you are a paid subscriber, by commenting. Have a cozy day!


How do you organize all your writing STUFF!? All the info for your freelance writing career, the newsletter, and your book? Any tips/tricks/advice!?

It’s a total mess sometimes, but it’s a beautiful mess—at least, that’s what I tell myself. :) A trick I learned in my time as a managing editor is to use the heck out of spreadsheets. Get really good at referencing them at the start of your work day. I have a spreadsheet for each of the things you mentioned: a newsletter content calendar, a running list of assignments and payments, and one for any book-related tasks. Like a dutiful project manager, I transfer each task into my Google calendar at the end of the day, using color-coded markers to designate the category. I give myself a generous amount of time to complete them, so I never feel panicked with a forgotten deadline.

I’ve also downloaded the Google Drive app on my phone and have running documents for ideas there. If something feels particularly pressing, I email it to myself (and mark it unread until I have a chance to address it). I use my inbox, spreadsheets, and calendar as my own personal assistant, relying heavily on the systems, so I can be free to do what I actually like to do: the writing part! Some people also lean on actual project management software like Trello or list apps like Any.do.

How would you navigate the possible conflict between the need to create and share your work, while also balancing your sense of privacy as a mother? 

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