14 Comments

So excited for your book release!!! I recently revisited Priya Parker’s “The Art of Gathering” to work through similar anxieties about being the center of attention (baby shower upcoming...). I appreciated her take that every person, including guests, should have a clear role to play which sort of took the pressure off. ❤️

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Oh, thank you for the recommendation! I love the idea of a gathering as a responsibility shared by all, not just the host. Excited about Downtime's launch!!

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Jun 14, 2023Liked by Thao Thai

I feel exactly the same way. The only way I have learned to be comfortable is to have VERY small gatherings or to have a 'thing' to do so it's not a birthday party, it's a flower arranging brunch!! (For my birthday). For my recent big birthday I took myself away for a weekend after forcing myself to sit and think about what I wanted to do (it's more than a little sad how long it took me to identify MY wants, not my families wants). It was wonderful and restorative and I plan to do it more often in the future.

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Okay, that activity idea is genius! I think that would help alleviate the hosting pressure for me too. Happy belated birthday and I am so, so happy you got to get away for a bit. That sounds heavenly.

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Jun 14, 2023Liked by Thao Thai

It's also super fun for adults to get to do arts/crafts, learn something, or shop together like we did when we were young kids/teens. So far I've had a private shopping party at a local boutique, flower arranging class, a spa day, and an aerial yoga private lesson (that one was a bachelorette I hosted). It also gives you a thing to talk about after if you're combining friends from different life stages/groups who may not know each other.

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I think you have a future as a party planner! This all sounds amazing. I have been eyeing a macrame workshop …

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Jun 21, 2023Liked by Thao Thai

"Tempering excitement in order to cushion potential disappointment (though when has that ever worked?). Robbing Peter to pay Paul, as they say. But all that happens when you forgo the celebrations is that those moments pass without you. You’re watching them on the periphery, but you’re not really there, in the giddy center of them. Life is too short for mere observation."

I was very moved by this section. The act of celebrating an event is part of the act of telling the story of your life, but in real time, rather than with hindsight as most recounts of our life happen, because we've consciously chosen to mark that moment in time. And it lets us bask in the moment.

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Congratulations on your book release. I love the cover and the subject matter and am adding it to my good reads list. I hope you can enjoy your celebrations however you choose to celebrate this accomplishment.

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Thank you, Mary!

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Oh, and the cover art is by an artist named Tanya Hough; she's so talented! My friends gave me the original painting and it hangs outside my office now :) Thank you for the kind words!

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Jun 14, 2023Liked by Thao Thai

Have you read Toko-pa Turners book ‘Belonging: remember ourselves home’ - you might like it, it touches on this reciprocity and the desire to hide.

For me it’s been about thinking about how I want to celebrate > what I ‘should’ do. I don’t want to have a big party but I do love to have a quiet glass of wine with my Husband.

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I haven't read it, but I want to now; thank you! And that's a really smart distinction: how people tell us to celebrate versus what actually feels joyful.

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Congratulations on your book release! 👏🎉

I loved this insight on celebrating your moments! And it couldn’t have come at a better time as we have an epic trip with friends coming up-to celebrate my 50th birthday. I’ve been wondering how do I do this, how will I bear having the spotlight be on me, did they really all agree to go?!?, etc., etc.!!!

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Stephanie, congratulations on turning 50! That is SO exciting and I’m inspired by your epic trip. I hope you enjoy every moment and remember that celebrating with you is also a gift you’re giving to your wonderful friends 💕

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